seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize