Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
