I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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