so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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