ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
420 ftw
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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