He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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