omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I need moral support for this bender
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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