I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes