Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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