I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
