I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
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