She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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