We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
No subtext here. People are naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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