glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
