Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I wear drunk well.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
