dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
