More tranny stories later!
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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