My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
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Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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