Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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