Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
how can u be prego again
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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