Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
