I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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