this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
