You made me cry and you don't even care
Pants 0. Shit 1.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Randomize
