I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize