I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
