drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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