Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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