Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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