You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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