It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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