and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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