If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Randomize
