every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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