yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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