Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
