worst night to have a conscience
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
25 Adults Reveal The Most Embarrassing Stories From When They Were Kids
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.