Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"