Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...