Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
