D3 body, D1 cock
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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