apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
