I'm pants shitting drunk right now
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
