Kiss
Puke
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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