I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize