I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
