hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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