Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
You are a genius and a whore.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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