The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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