My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
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