I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
