captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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