she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
