the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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