i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
operation harelip BJ is a go
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
There's even glitter on my cock...
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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