I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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