This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I think my fart just growled at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Randomize