how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
