this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Randomize
