So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
