32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
dude. I can hear the air.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
