im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
