somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
They are going to name an STD after you.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
