Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
