Me. At least after what I've been through.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
