happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
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