just come out here and I will go home with you...
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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