So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize