The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
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